I spoke too soon

Three turned out not to be Three. We'll refer to him as Three-ish from here on out. Things got a bit bizarre last night. There was a moment where he quoted Whitman, and I finished the line for him, but then he mentioned how it was a problem that I wasn't Catholic because he wanted to be married in a Catholic church. Not that actually GOES to church, it's just important for him to be married in one, and I'm sorry but WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE BEFORE WE'VE EVEN HAD A CUP OF COFFEE?

Then there was a weird series of drunk texts about how high his sex drive was, how he loved hot breakup and makeup sessions, how he loved beautiful women, and how he would NEVER EVER cheat on me. Me. That's right, he was talking about us as if we were already a couple.

RED FLAGS! RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE!

And then the most bizarre thing happened, as if what had already passed wasn't enough. He said something about how beautiful he thought I was and how he wanted to stalk me like prey.

Now I know it's not just me. When most people find themselves in incredibly uncomfortable and whacktastic situations such as this, they laugh. It tends to shed a little light on the acid-trip of a world you've just entered. So, I laughed.

Boy, did that piss him off. The following text conversation is transcribed word for word:

Three-ish: Ok. U laugh at my serious sharing of feelings but thats ok. Nite.
Me: You're just so serious so soon. It's offputting.
Three-ish: Ok nevermind. Bye.
Me: Goodnight.
Three-ish: Forget about meeting.
Me: Ummm ok. [Is it obvious to add that I was fine with this development?]
Three-ish: U r not ready for what I have to offer.
Me: You're a little extreme. But that's fine with me. Have a good night. It was nice talking to you.
Three-ish: Bye. Good night 104. Sorry u cant handle my intensity.

Holy mother of Christ. Welcome to the world of dating, folks. It's a fucking minefield.