Three turned out not to be Three. We'll refer to him as Three-ish from here on out. Things got a bit bizarre last night. There was a moment where he quoted Whitman, and I finished the line for him, but then he mentioned how it was a problem that I wasn't Catholic because he wanted to be married in a Catholic church. Not that actually GOES to church, it's just important for him to be married in one, and I'm sorry but WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE BEFORE WE'VE EVEN HAD A CUP OF COFFEE?
Then there was a weird series of drunk texts about how high his sex drive was, how he loved hot breakup and makeup sessions, how he loved beautiful women, and how he would NEVER EVER cheat on me. Me. That's right, he was talking about us as if we were already a couple.
RED FLAGS! RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE!
And then the most bizarre thing happened, as if what had already passed wasn't enough. He said something about how beautiful he thought I was and how he wanted to stalk me like prey.
Now I know it's not just me. When most people find themselves in incredibly uncomfortable and whacktastic situations such as this, they laugh. It tends to shed a little light on the acid-trip of a world you've just entered. So, I laughed.
Boy, did that piss him off. The following text conversation is transcribed word for word:
Three-ish: Ok. U laugh at my serious sharing of feelings but thats ok. Nite.
Me: You're just so serious so soon. It's offputting.
Three-ish: Ok nevermind. Bye.
Me: Goodnight.
Three-ish: Forget about meeting.
Me: Ummm ok. [Is it obvious to add that I was fine with this development?]
Three-ish: U r not ready for what I have to offer.
Me: You're a little extreme. But that's fine with me. Have a good night. It was nice talking to you.
Three-ish: Bye. Good night 104. Sorry u cant handle my intensity.
Holy mother of Christ. Welcome to the world of dating, folks. It's a fucking minefield.
Showing posts with label Three-ish. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Three-ish. Show all posts
12.03.2009
12.02.2009
Three?
I want to record this so that I don't forget to tell you in the date review.
First of all, Three and Four are lined up and ready to go. Look forward to that.
Second of all, this whole experiment really started because I got a pesky communication notification from eharmony a few weeks ago when I was with my best friend, and I made the mistake of complaining to her about it.
"What?! SOMEONE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU? TALK TO HIM!" she screamed in the confined space of the car. I hesitated. I had gotten in the habit of deleting these emails and letting my subscription be renewed month after month without ever using it, you know, just in case.
But something about her prodding, something ALWAYS about her prodding (maybe it's the volume), made me do it.
"Fine." So I answered his communication. And then it turned into the beast of this blog and this dating experiment.
The person who contacted me that fateful day kind of fell out of touch. He stopped writing. I lost interest and started talking to other people. But, long story short, it turns out he sent his phone number in an email and, when I didn't call him, took that as a sign of my disinterest.
This misunderstanding turned into Three. Everyone, meet Three.
Anyway, as I'm writing the post that I'm about the post, he's texting me apologizing for the miscommunication. We're both apologizing for the miscommunication.
And then, this conversation took place. Brace yourself, ladies.
Three: Ok. I appreciate your sincerity. Sometimes it's hard to filter the signal from the noise.
Me: Nope, no noise here. Honestly.
Three: I meant in the semiotic sense. [Am I the only word nerd who is already swooning?]
Me: I know. I did, too.
Three: I'm a bit inebriated so everything I text, you need to take with one molecule of NaCl.
Three: If you understand that, then I love you. :-)
Me: Salt. Got it. ;)
Three: Ok well ummmm. You are kinda hot.
Three: Do you like geeks?
Me: It would depend on the geek. That's pretty general. He could be a geek who called me ugly, in which case I wouldn't.
Three: Well um, if a sort of intellectual non-jock thought you were quite attractive?
Me: And he was nice?
Three: Very nice.
Me: Then chances are I'd like him a lot.
There were so many points earned in that exchange, I lost count.
First of all, Three and Four are lined up and ready to go. Look forward to that.
Second of all, this whole experiment really started because I got a pesky communication notification from eharmony a few weeks ago when I was with my best friend, and I made the mistake of complaining to her about it.
"What?! SOMEONE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU? TALK TO HIM!" she screamed in the confined space of the car. I hesitated. I had gotten in the habit of deleting these emails and letting my subscription be renewed month after month without ever using it, you know, just in case.
But something about her prodding, something ALWAYS about her prodding (maybe it's the volume), made me do it.
"Fine." So I answered his communication. And then it turned into the beast of this blog and this dating experiment.
The person who contacted me that fateful day kind of fell out of touch. He stopped writing. I lost interest and started talking to other people. But, long story short, it turns out he sent his phone number in an email and, when I didn't call him, took that as a sign of my disinterest.
This misunderstanding turned into Three. Everyone, meet Three.
Anyway, as I'm writing the post that I'm about the post, he's texting me apologizing for the miscommunication. We're both apologizing for the miscommunication.
And then, this conversation took place. Brace yourself, ladies.
Three: Ok. I appreciate your sincerity. Sometimes it's hard to filter the signal from the noise.
Me: Nope, no noise here. Honestly.
Three: I meant in the semiotic sense. [Am I the only word nerd who is already swooning?]
Me: I know. I did, too.
Three: I'm a bit inebriated so everything I text, you need to take with one molecule of NaCl.
Three: If you understand that, then I love you. :-)
Me: Salt. Got it. ;)
Three: Ok well ummmm. You are kinda hot.
Three: Do you like geeks?
Me: It would depend on the geek. That's pretty general. He could be a geek who called me ugly, in which case I wouldn't.
Three: Well um, if a sort of intellectual non-jock thought you were quite attractive?
Me: And he was nice?
Three: Very nice.
Me: Then chances are I'd like him a lot.
There were so many points earned in that exchange, I lost count.
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