Ten-ish

Before things started going well with Nine, there was a Ten lined up. I ended up not returning his call one Sunday when we were supposed to meet because he sounded abrasive in his voicemail message and kind of annoyed and hadn't put much effort into planning the actual date and I felt fat and I really just wanted to have coffee with my mother read the paper. We know this about me: I like a man to take charge. I like a man like Nine who has a plan for a date and executes it. A man like Nine who says, "It's too bad you watched Food Inc. and are now a vegetarian because I made a reservation for us at Ruth's Chris for this Saturday," to which I said "SCREW THE COWS, I WANT STEAK!"

Ten was kind of half-assing his way around meeting me, and I didn't feel inclined to put in any more effort than he did. So I didn't return his call, and when he texted me two days later, I said I got busy and had made other plans since our plans weren't definite. It's true. I take the plan of sitting around in my pajamas on a Sunday very seriously.

He still texts me occasionally, and I keep him on the far back burner in case things go south with Nine. I'm always prepared for failure, for a change of heart, for a total 180 of character. But the other day he sent me a link to his blog. His triathlon blog, where he records his workouts, his clean eating attempts, and his undying feelings for his ex-fiancé.

Hold up. What?

Yes, that's right. In his blog, he details his past relationship with her four years ago, how he has never gotten over her, and how he found out that she is pregnant and engaged and couldn't breathe for a few minutes.

Listen, I'm all for romanticism. According to my therapist, I am a romantic. But I also have a nasty realistic side that pops in and tells me NOT to send the link to a personal journal detailing how I am, and always will be, in love with my ex to a boy I would like to date in the somewhat, whenever I can get my act together and make a fucking plan, future.

Not to mention he's from Massachusetts and a Republican and has, like, ten siblings and a dysfunctional upbringing sprinkled with abuse and addiction. At least that is what I gathered from the blog.